Woman declines to pet sit for friend, annoys her when she chooses to cat sit for coworker instead: 'She said she would be too tired'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 25, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Why would you do something for a colleague that you wouldn't do for a friend?

Friends are supposed to help friends out; in fact, it is one of the biggest benefits of being buddies with someone. Obviously, the assistance should be mutual, and it shouldn't take too many liberties, but it is usually not too much of a stretch to expect someone you are friends with to do you a favor.

At the same time, having appropriate boundaries when it comes to helping other people can be important. Some individuals have a tendency to take and take without giving back, and ask for things that go way beyond the limits of the average good Samaritan. Just because our friends can be useful to us doesn't mean that this is their only purpose. 

It can be annoying to think that we can rely on a friend to help us with something and get turned down, but sometimes, their reasons are valid. Having modest expectations is important, even if this is a person who has done a lot for you in the past. You never know how opinions and circumstances may end up changing, leaving you with a very different scenario than what you expected.

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  • A woman smiles while sitting on a couch and holding a white cat.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A woman smiles while sitting on a couch and holding a white cat. Models pictured are not representative.

  • Redditor u/Visual-Button-9681 expected that her friend would pet sit for her cats while she was out of town, as it was an arrangement they had had before. However, she declined, while also agreeing to her coworker's request that she pet sit for her cats instead.

    The woman felt snubbed by her friend and didn't understand why she might prioritize a colleague over her. She wondered if she should confront her about it.

  • Would I be wrong if I confronted my best friend for saying no to watching my cats but then saying yes to one of her coworkers?

    Okay so first and foremost, I wont be giving any crazy details because I believe it would very easily track back to me irl. Annyyywhoo, I, mid 20s(F) have a bsf mid 20s (F) that I've known who my whole life. Back story of last 3 weeks:
    via Visual-Button-9681
  • I went out of town for a week trip, I have 1 senior dog and 2 cats and needed someone to watch them. I got my dog boraded as i live in a rv and knew it would be hard to watch my dog so i paid a dog sitter and dropped my dog off. I could've got my cats sitted also but it was already very expensive for my dog alone and just
    via Visual-Button-9681
  • was not part of the budget. (I know me going on a trip and talking about not getting cats watched in the budget doesnt sound financially responsible but I have my reasons why I needed to go on this trip and it was necessary, thats as far as I'll go with that.)
    via Visual-Button-9681

  • She didn't want her to feel like she was overwhelmed.

    I know it is NO ONES responsibility to take care of the animals but me BUT when I had asked my bsf she said that she would be too tired to check in on them after work as she works a 12 hour office job and her 15 mins drive from town to town just makes her super tired and she honestly just didnt want to (her words). I said okay and that I'll
    via Visual-Button-9681
  • figure it out. Mind you we have watched eachother animals back and forth many times. She has a dog that I would go let in and out and feed while she was gone on trips so me asking her to watch mine should've been no problem. I ended up getting an automatic cat feeder and set the cats up for the week and when I came back it was a sight to see. (Alot of clean up
    via Visual-Button-9681
  • of messes and just honestly annoying since I couldn't get anyone to check the cats)
    via Visual-Button-9681

  • She felt like she had the wrong priorities.

    My bsf agreed to watching her coworkers cats for week and I just honestly upset about it and really annoyed. I am not sure if I should say anything or just leave it as is. I didn't ask any details but what I do know is that her coworker lives in the same town she drives to work for and will be gone for a whole week. They dont typically work weekends so that got me
    via Visual-Button-9681
  • thinking that she will need to drive 15min to go check on their cats... rather then when I went out of town and just driving down the street to check on mine. I don't know if I should say something to her or just drop it. I already decided to not ask her of anything anymore and this goes alot deeper then just watching the cats or not but I diagras. I dont know if im the
    via Visual-Button-9681
  • problem and she just isnt telling me or what. I have asked her before to watch me dog right before I got cats and the first thing she asked if I can just board my dog. Which I would if I could afford it and honestly I thought about telling her the samething when ahe asked me to watch her dog but I am not a super petty person and she is and she knows it. Not talking down just speaking facts.
    via Visual-Button-9681

  • Other friends told her that she had to take responsibility.

    I have another bsf in all this that just keeps telling me its not anyone responsibility but mine. I understand she isnt taking sides but even she admitted it was kinda messed up but still stood firm in me not saying anything and letting it be.
    via Visual-Button-9681
  • A woman touches her nose to the face of a white cat she is petting.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A woman touches her nose to the face of a white cat she is petting. Image depicted solely for explanatory purposes.


     

  • There were some factors she hadn't considered.

    2ndcupofcoffee Her coworker may be paying. Pet sitters make pretty good money these days.
    via 2ndcupofcoffee
  • Wiserthanllook YTAH if you say anything. You may help each other but she is not obligated to watch your pets, and she's not obligated to tell you why she watched her co workers cats for them. Tbh you sound petty, and exhausting. If you weren't petty it wouldn't upset you. Say
    via WiserthanIlook
  • nothing if you want to keep your friend. Or say something and don't be offended when she tells you to lose her number. Edited to add: your other best friend is absolutely correct. It's your responsibility to take care of your cats, not hers.
    via WiserthanIlook

  • People thought she should hear her friend's side of the story.

    ElectricalFocus560 If she really is a best friend you should give her at least one chance to discuss why she wasn't able to look after your cats. Ask her if you've done something wrong and if so, is there any way to repair it.
    via ElectricalFocus560
  • What you do next depends on how open and honest she's willing to be. If she says there's nothing wrong and that she just didn't want to do it. Take that as a data point. I'm not sure I would be looking after her animals much in the future it sounds like she has "credits" now with the coworker.
    via ElectricalFocus560

  • Maybe she had been depending on her too much.

    CoDaDeyLove YTAH. How often do you ask your friend to watch your pets? I have a former friend who asked me occasionally to watch her cat. Usually it was for a long weekend, and she only lived a mile away, so no problem. But suddenly she was asking me to watch her cat and water her plants for several weeks
    via CoDaDeyLove
  • at a time. The last time she asked, I told her I couldn't because I would be traveling myself. She asked if would consider changing the dates of my trip, and I said that wasn't possible. So she took her cat to a shelter and left it there. If you've asked her friend pretty often, she might be tired of it. And maybe her coworker lives closer or is paying her.
    via CoDaDeyLove
  • National Pension_110 I don't think she sees you as her bestie. NTA but reevaluate this relationship..
    via National_Pension_110

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friendship pet sitter Cats coworker
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